Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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