Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
