I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
