I'm going to jail i love you
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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