omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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