Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
