you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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