Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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