be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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