He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
