i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
