ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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