i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
