Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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