dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
only if we run a train.
done.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
