Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
