This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
