You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
