the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
