thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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