That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
