Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
