I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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