the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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