I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
