but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
