hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
