He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
