i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All I want is dick and wine.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
