If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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