I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
