He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
