my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
This toilet bowl is my home.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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