he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
