I'm going to jail i love you
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
