i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I need moral support for this bender
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
