Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's just like the Real World with babies
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
