HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Someone came in the potted fern
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
