I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
