How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
