Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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