walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
