so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
