dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize