looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
