Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
