2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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