Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
