i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
