ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
