he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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