If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
