dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize