90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
