We won't sleep together?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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