I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
