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You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
