How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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