I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
