White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize