I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
