You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
