Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize