uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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