kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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