Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
