Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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