dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Still dying that you shit outside
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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