I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
